There is a little therapist sitting on my shoulder (angels and devils are so last year) who tells me that keeping a journal is helpful for stress. Since no one ever writes in a diary with the expectation that it will be 100% private, I figured I’d go all out and submit my “Dear Mr. President” entries to WhiteHouse.gov. Here, you can read all of them in full.

Wait…. free speech is still a thing, right?

I do hope the Secret Service agents checking my phone records enjoy reading such riveting texts as, “R u home soon?” and “Guess what our puppies just did!?!”